Happy day, cheese doodles. April 4, two-oh-sixteen. Opening-freaking-Day. Stupid new rules and all, nothing gets me down today. Not even the fact that we’re opening up with … with … INTER-LEAGUE PLAY?! You kiddin’ me? Please tell me the Cactus League schedule just got extended. Bud Selig, you were then, and remain today, the devil. Ah, well. Not even you and the stupid schedule you left behind for Robbie Womanfred can get me down today, pal. Day One. Old Style in one hand, Red Hot in the other, listening to Jake mow down the Angels of Anaheim, or the Edison Internationals, or whatever those jabronies call themselves.

Joe