Hey there, rum balls. Well…this is it. Tonight’s the night. Every single thing in the wide, wide world of sports (if you’re a Cubs fan) is ridin’ on tonight’s game. Except for Harvey Weinstein. He prefers helpless young actresses. But I digress.
Yep, tonight is for all the marbles, the whole shooting match, and the whole nine yards. The entire cheese-smothered carnitas enchilada is on the line tonight, not to mention (but I’m going to anyway) the entire ball of wax. By the way, who keeps a ball of wax, anyway? Has anyone ever actually seen one? What in the hell do you do with one, and why would anyone ever want the whole damn thing? No clue.
Game 5 is the full monty, baby, and tonight’s winner takes it all, lock, stock and barrel…or hook, line and sinker. In other words, the whole schemer, megillah or kit-and-caboodle. It is, in fact, for the whole shebang. (Pull your pants back up, Weinstein. That doesn’t mean what you think it does.)
My money — if I had any money — would be on Hendricks, my friend. And nothin’ — other than makin’ it back to THE Series itself — is gonna be more finger lickin’ good than pullin’ the rug out from under the obnoxious, bearded, bat-flippin’ Bryce Harper and the rest of those yay-hoos that represent that rat infested (read: politician) city — home to The Donald.
Fly the W, pallie!