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9 IS A GREAT NUMBER. ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S A CUBS WINNING STREAK.

· 2016 Cubs, Joe Sez, News · , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

CUBS-9-GAME-WIN-STREAK

Hey there, pool cues. As you know, the Cubbies logged their 9th straight win yesterday. Nine. Three times three. The square root of 81. The number of planets in our solar system. (Yeah, yeah, everybody heard about Pluto gettin’ demoted to “really big ice cube” status, but lemme tell you somethin’: I don’t give a crispy crap what National Geographic says … Pluto is still a planet in the Schlombowski solar system, pal. I think they only said that cuz they were tryin’ to sell magazines. That’s it. Besides, if any celestial body deserved to be nixed, it’s Uranus.) Anyway, like I was sayin’, we posted number 9 yesterday, and that, my friend, is a pretty long streak. It’s not 10, but 10 is cliché. Don’t get me wrong … I like 10. And today, when we get there, I’ll totally disavow any knowledge of 9. But there’s something a little too Alexander Hamiltonish about 10, don’t you think? Furthermore, everybody rides the 10 bandwagon. Hell, I’ll be right up front on it myself! People like 10. Maybe cuz it’s a nice round number. Maybe cuz it represents perfection. Or maybe, just maybe, cuz of Bo Derek. I know that’s a lost reference on anyone under 50, but I’ll tell ya … You wanna talk about heavenly bodies? Bo Derek is one you wanna land on and explore, my friend.

Anyway, as a non-conformist (Sister Mary Elizabeth used to call me a hellion and a rebel, but I know she meant non-conformist) … anyway, as someone who likes to up the down staircase, and because, as I already mentioned, the Cubs are ridin’ a 9 game winning streak, I wanna Sesame Street the number 9.

Why 9 is a good number:

1  Baseball games have 9 innings — more if you go extra innings, fewer if you get rained out. But unless Rob Womanfred institutes 7 inning games to speed things up (a moronic idea of Donald Trumpian proportions), I think we can agree that ballgames are 9 inning affairs.

2  You got 9 guys on each side. Actually there are a lot more than that, but only 9 in the line up at any one time. Unless were talkin’ that sissy DH kinda baseball they play in the American League. That makes it 10 a side. Which is yet another reason why the DH is an abomination whose sole purpose is to give a job to fat guys with no glove. Pathetic. Real baseball has pitchers who hit, so I’m stickin’ with 9.

3  Ted Williams, Roger Maris, Bill Mazeroski, Graig Nettles, Matt Williams, Enos Slaughter, Minnie Minoso, and the straw that stirs the drink — Reggie Jackson — all wore number 9. Yes, Jackson wore it until he went to the dark side. Nettles already had it. Doesn’t really matter, though. You could take everyone off this list except for Ted and the number 9 would still be one of the greatest.

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THE BIGGEST ROCK HEAD STATEMENTS OF ALL TIME.

· 2016 Cubs, Joe Sez · ,

GERRIT-COLE

I’ll say this about Gerrit Cole; he’s in good company, although it has absolutely nothing to do with his arm. After beating the Cubs last night, thereby barely and finally scratching out a victory — the first in 6 tries against Chicago this season — Cole says, “I don’t really think they’re the best team in baseball.”

Really? I think maybe this Pirate is suffering from scurvy or something.

Before I get to the “good company” part, let’s just mow the facts into the infield grass where even the Lump of Cole oughta be able to read them from his 12 inch perch (assuming he can read). 1) The Cubs, at 27-9, are, in fact, currently the best team in baseball. Period. 2) The Cubs have a +109 run differential. Also, the best in baseball. In fact, it’s higher than the next two teams (Red Sox +58 and Cardinals +46) combined. 3) The Cubs have the highest power ranking, the lowest team ERA, and opposing teams (like the Pirates) have a batting average against us just two points over the Mendoza line. I’ll mention here that the Cubs have also outscored the Pirates 38-13 in their six head-to-head games this season. Seems like Cole oughta keep his nose outta the rosin bag.

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