WHAT IN THE WIDE, WIDE WORLD OF SPORTS IS GOIN’ ON WITH OUR BULLPEN?
· 2016 Cubs, Joe Sez · Atlanta Braves, Hector Rondon
Hey there, chip shots. So I’m sittin’ here watchin’ the Cubs/Braves game, thinkin’ they’re about to snatch victory from Atlanta’s jaws of defeat, when Hector Rondon comes in to close things out. And guess what … instead of doin’ that, he applies his human pink pearl effect on the game, erasing our lead in true Carlos Marmolian fashion by servin’ a meatball to Markakis. Ka-boom! The lead engineered by our bats in the 8th wiped off the scoreboard with one crappy pitch.
We’ve had a lotta closers like that in the last dozen years, and from what I could tell, the only reason any of ’em had the job title “closer” is cuz every friggin’ time they’d set foot on the bump, we all had to close our eyes so as not to experience a coronary. Most of ’em couldn’t close an automatic garage door. And now … really, Theo … are these the bulls you want in the pen? I’m all for givin’ guys a chance, but the season’s half over. Starters are tired, so the pen has got to take on a bigger roll. Given that reality, is what we’ve been watchin’ lately sort of a front row seat to what the ass end of the season is gonna look like? Cuz if it is, I’m gonna have to start drinkin’ something a lot stronger than Old Style.
And, hey … I don’t mean to single out Hector. His performance tonight is simply indicative of the way the entire pen has been playin’. I’m not the only one that thinks so, either. It’s definitely the weak link on an otherwise pretty stellar ball club, which is why you hear me wonderin’ if we have a firm grasp on the job descriptions of reliever, set up man, or closer. I know this: it doesn’t include servin’ up yard shots. Or walkin’ guys either. To be fair, Rondon has generally played well this season, but you could say that about the Golden State Warriors, too, and look what happened to them. You gotta do the job every damn time you’re in the game. Do you have to be perfect? No. But bein’ more like Mariano Rivera and less like a friggin’ launching pad is something to shoot for. Just living up to our offense would be a really nice gesture. That way, when they get us a lead in a close game, we can actually hang on to it; somethin’ we’ve not been so good at over the past couple of weeks.
By the way, the game is over. The W was in our grasp, but we took the L instead. Crap.
Joe