You know that feeling you get when an umpire pulls a full-on Helen Keller and we end up losing and all you wanna do is break something but you don’t cuz that’s just stupid so you cock your head back and scream at the top of your lungs? You know that feeling? Well, that’s the Hot Corner, pallie. It’s like primal scream therapy for baseball.
Unless you’re from another planet (Mets fans, I’m talking to you), you understand that the Cubs have a pretty friggin’ good chance of making the Series this season. And although there was no sign of him last year, keep your eyes peeled for Bartman. I’ll get over it one day. Maybe.
I was sitting around the other day thinking about where baseball teams get their names. Like the Dodgers, which supposedly had something to do with dodging the trolly cars in Brooklyn. But what the hell is a Met? How ’bout a Philly? What’s that? And then there’s the Stros …
When the Ricketts family bought the Cubs, Tom Ricketts promised to try to keep ticket prices down. Yeah, right. Dry that one out and you can fertilize the lawn.
Cubs management, in it’s infinite wisdom, has decided to turn the hallowed ivy walls at Wrigley into cheap billboards. They say it’ll add to the revenue stream. Uh huh. I got a revenue stream for you, pallie.
Father O’Malley asks me the other day why it is that every week I gotta confess something nasty I said about Barry Bonds. I told him (and I believe this) that I think Bonds is the anti-Christ, and that someday he’ll retire — or get banned from the game — and then I won’t have to confess anymore about Barry.
I know I already spouted off about this, but this whole signs-in-the-ivy thing is chapping my rather prominent fanny. I mean Wrigley is like sacred burial ground (where wins go to die) and I don’t think turning the walls into cheap billboards is good for our karma. Know what I’m sayin’?
Anybody seen Sammy lately? I’m not sure what’s happened to his face — maybe it’s steroids — but I can tell you this: he’s lookin’ a helluva lot like he oughta be skipping down the yellow brick road with 3 trick-or-treaters. Maybe he’s gonna ask the Wizard for a pennant.
I could be totally off base here (the missus thinks so) but given that the iPhone has an app for everything short of wiping you ass, I gotta wonder if we might be better off drafting Steve Jobs with the goal of having him develop a few extra special Cubs apps, instead of developing talent.
16 outta the last 19 World Series winners train in Florida, so the Cubs are having their ears bent by Mr big shot Florida business man, Gary Price, about moving their spring training to the Sunshine state. As if that would have any real effect on the Cubs drought. I say, stick up your Ho Ho Kam, pal.