Hey there, oven mitts. I know I’ve said before that I don’t believe in countin’ billy goats before they’re bar-b-cued, but I also believe in bein’ prepared. Soooo … just in case the planets align and the Cubs put an end to 108 years of losin’, I offer the following delectable billy goat recipes, each of which would be perfectly paired with a frosty Old Style. And some of that melted cheese crap they serve at the ballpark, too. If you can figure out how to whip up some of that, you’ll be at the pearly gates themselves. Bon Appetit.

Goat Stew. Yum yum.

Curry Goat. Not to be confused with Furry Goat.

Curried Goat Stew. It’s like a combo of the above.

Goat Tacos. Where Mumbai and Tijuana meet.

Jamaican Curry Goat. Ya mon.

Another Goat Curry. How many do you really need?

How about a little Nepali Goat Curry?

Then there’s Indian Pressure Cooker Goat Curry…

And Goat Barbacoa, whatever the hell that is.

Personally, I think I’d run the goat through a meat grinder (it’s more symbolic that way), mix her up with some spices and stuff the whole thing into a casing. That, my friend, would be friggin’ deeeeeelicious. Don’t forget the relish, onions, maybe some kraut, a nice hot, spicy mustard, a few peppers and about 3 dozen napkins. Maybe pour the Old Style into a glass. World Champions gotta be a little more refined and all, you know.

Joe